| I lied because
lying is the only way
to feel like a victim and victims
are not responsible for their pain.
It is easier to blame, to feel that you
are forgiven by others and by God.
Poor girl, she was so good.
Abortion is on a political platform
like a madman in want of power,
like a mad woman in want of redemption
and I am a woman who wanted her young lover
to come inside of her and I am a woman
whose cycle was loosened by the moon
and even though I bled, my egg was there
waiting and I am a woman whose lover’s response
was, I’m not ready, but I’ll do it. I’ll
become a man for you.
On September 12th, we were in a clinic
in Flushing,
Queens and yes, I took that first progesterone pill, and
yes, after we left and we took refuge in a church
when the 7 train was suspected of carrying a bomb.
And yes, three days later I took the second two pills
to dislodge the womb, and yes,
I am a white college educated woman
who demands to keep abortion, but allow me
my pain, allow me my choice, allow me my sorrow.
Because the young lover left anyway
and I do not know could have or should have,
but did and done and now my stomach lays flat.
And god dammit, I am forgiven.
|
